his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
