You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize