well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
