how can u be prego again
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
