got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
