just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
