ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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