we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
