this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
