dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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