your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need moral support for this bender
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
