i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
