please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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