I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
