I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
