i need an iv and a liver transplant
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
