on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Damn victory sex feels great
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