i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
