I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
