You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
