You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I could make wine with my vomit
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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