she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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