sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
