it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
