I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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