we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
