I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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