Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
