she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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