Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
