i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's just like the Real World with babies
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize