I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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