my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
