he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
