i don't like sucking hair
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
