Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
