you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
