I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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