You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Enjoy the penises
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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