I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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