he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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