New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
