i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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