i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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