Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
