how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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