no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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