like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize