I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just invented taco cereal.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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