He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
