I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
