nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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