i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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