Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
