please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
