my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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