so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
