let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
