My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
