Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
