READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Watching her eat just hurts me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
