it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
