I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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