How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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