Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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