so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
