remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
